After a long battle with various illnesses, my step-father, Guy T. Kelley has been called home. It happened earlier this week and the funeral was today. Unfortunately, because I am currently out of the country, I was unable to attend. We will be heading down to Springfield Missouri as soon as we get back to spend a few days with my mom and to say goodbye. On the up side, we have Internet access down here and I was able to share something that was read at the funeral. I would like to share that here.
With all of my heart, I wish I could be there with you in this great time of sadness. Know that I am with you in spirit and share in our families grief.
Several years ago, Guy had completely caught me off guard and asked me if I would speak at his funeral. I believe my exact response was a very unsure, "ummmm... Ok?". As I thought about it even more, I was honored that he would even ask. I certainly don't feel like u am anyone special or have any great pearls of wisdom to share. I'm not even related by blood. It was with this thought that I realized what was so special about Guy. Blood didn't matter. The world of blended families is filled with words that define our exact relationship with one another. We use words like "step" and "half" to describe how we are almost related, but not quite. With Guy, such descriptors did not exist. When we joined the family, we did not become his "step-children". We became his sons and daughter. All who came through the door were welcome members of the family. Without condition. To the many who have been considered "family" throughout the years, this has truly been a blessing.
For Guy, the last few years of his life have been extremely difficult. It is in his death that he finally has peace. There is no more pain. Breathe comes without effort. Imagine the simple joy he has in that one simple fact alone! And this would be the smallest of all the joys he now has. "For God so loved the world that he gave his only son, that whoever believes in him, shall not perish, but have eternal life. ForGod did not send his son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him". John 3:16-17. What a wonderful promise! It brings me great pleasure to know that we can all share in this joy with Guy one day! He will be sorely missed and it grieves us all to know that he is gone. However, we all rejoice in knowing that he is in a much better place.
We thank God for Guy's life and the legacy he is leaving behind through each of his children. He will be greatly missed and remembered for years to come.
Blessings to you all.
Love,
Michael
Friday, July 29, 2011
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
4.3 Cents
What could you possibly buy for 4.3 cents? When I was a kid you could buy a single piece of bubble gum for a penny. So in the late eighties when I was a kid, that would buy you four whole minutes of bubble blowing pleasure. I have fond memories from my childhood of spending the entire day at the swimming pool and then walking home via my grandparents gas station and picking up some one cent gum. These days that single piece of bubble gum will cost you a whole nickel in some places. Stupid inflation! Anyway, 4.3 cents isn't going to get you very far in this day and age. I really can't think of much else you could do with that amount of money... except for here in Venezuela. Here you could buy an entire gallon of gas! That's right. One whole gallon of gas only costs 4.3 cents! That means that you can fill up your entire gas tank for under one dollar! And here is the kicker. People here throw a fit if the gas prices go up! I suppose that public outrage at gas prices is a concept that translates to all cultures. I must admit that I have a hard time being sympathetic. At least in the one particular area. Anyway, Water costs more than gasoline in this country! This is why everyone here drives SUVs and giant trucks. Toyota Prius' are not so much in demand around here.
So here is my grand scheme. I am going to buy a dozen gas cans and see how many I can fit in my luggage to smuggle back into the states. For 4.3 cents per gallon, I can't pass it up. Breanne is going to create a diversion so that way the people at customs just wave me by, as they will be too distracted to inspect my bags. As far as a diversion goes, I'm suggesting either baton twirling or a dramatic reenactment of the film "Flashdance". Either one is sure to get me through security.
If you would like in on my plan, please donate money to Breanne's bail money fund.
So here is my grand scheme. I am going to buy a dozen gas cans and see how many I can fit in my luggage to smuggle back into the states. For 4.3 cents per gallon, I can't pass it up. Breanne is going to create a diversion so that way the people at customs just wave me by, as they will be too distracted to inspect my bags. As far as a diversion goes, I'm suggesting either baton twirling or a dramatic reenactment of the film "Flashdance". Either one is sure to get me through security.
If you would like in on my plan, please donate money to Breanne's bail money fund.
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Things I've Learned So Far
1. You can fit 9 adult men into a Ford Explorer.
2. Venezuelans are much better at clapping to the correct beat than us white folk.
3. It is appropriate to stop your game of kick ball when a herd of cattle jump onto the field from the bushes.
4. My crowning athletic achievement in life can be boiled down to a double in kickball.
5. Charades goes a long way in communication.
6. Skype is one of the most amazing innovations of modern technology. We got to talk to Julia tonight!
7. Chinese food in Venezuela is pretty much the same as Chinese food in America.
8. The origins of the word "Avocado" are disgusting. Look it up. I'm refusing to sully my blog with such grossness. If you actually like avocados, don't look it up. You will be ruined forever.
9. Coke is different here. I.e. Way better. Not sure why, but it totally is.
10. Hospitality and kindness are a universal language.
2. Venezuelans are much better at clapping to the correct beat than us white folk.
3. It is appropriate to stop your game of kick ball when a herd of cattle jump onto the field from the bushes.
4. My crowning athletic achievement in life can be boiled down to a double in kickball.
5. Charades goes a long way in communication.
6. Skype is one of the most amazing innovations of modern technology. We got to talk to Julia tonight!
7. Chinese food in Venezuela is pretty much the same as Chinese food in America.
8. The origins of the word "Avocado" are disgusting. Look it up. I'm refusing to sully my blog with such grossness. If you actually like avocados, don't look it up. You will be ruined forever.
9. Coke is different here. I.e. Way better. Not sure why, but it totally is.
10. Hospitality and kindness are a universal language.
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Adventures in Humility
So we finally made it. The "To-Do" list even got finished. I feel like we worked non stop from Sunday morning until the moment we left, but it finally got done. Sure we didn't go to bed the night before we left, but that's just a minor detail. We met at our church at 4 AM to head to Chicago. That's right, 4 AM. I'm pretty sure us and Jesus were the only ones up at that hour. After some weather delays and a quick flight change in NYC, we eventually made it to Caracas. The missionary that we are working with picked us up at the airport and we drove another hour and a half to get to the town of Cua. Needless to say that after being awake for 43 hours straight, we were exhausted!
Today we woke up refreshed and ready to go. We all stayed with members of the missionary's (Matt Johnson) church, Marlaney and Ismael. The hospitality they showed us was amazing. After a good nights rest they made us a deliscious breakfast with my new favorite food, arepas. It's kind of a corn flour pita pocket that you fill with eggs, cheese, and bacon. It kicks the crap out of an egg mcmuffin any day!
After breakfast we separated our group and went to some mens and womens bible studies. In my mind, I'm thinking this would be a 1-2 hour meeting. Obviously I havent adjusted to the south American time frame yet. Things are casual and time is fluid. This was a 5 hour gathering. It involved bbq'd meat, watching Band of Brothers, and some good discussion on the necessity of accountability with our brothers in Christ. It was midway through the night that the humility began to set in. As I sat there I began to think about what was going on. Here I was, in South America. Very, very, very far from home. I was in a very poor neighborhood sitting in the dirt under a tarp to shield us from the rain, listening to a man speak in Spanish. A language of which I can only understand a few words of. It was in this moment that I realized how small I was. We worship a God who is being exhalted all over the world in thousands of languages and I rarely ever consider this. My world can become very small sometimes and the day to day concerns of everyday life consume me on a regular basis. What a gift this trip is. A chance to step away from my own life and see how big our God truly is.
Tonight we are staying with a different family who will be our hosts for the duration of our trip. Boris and Rocio and their two daughters, Genesis and Anapaola have been extremely gracious so far. They have done so much to try to make us feel at home. It's so humbling to be shown such great kindness by complete strangers. We have already had many laughs together as we try to communicate. It is such a joy to stay with them. We are extremely blessed and are greatly looking forward to the rest of our week.
Today we woke up refreshed and ready to go. We all stayed with members of the missionary's (Matt Johnson) church, Marlaney and Ismael. The hospitality they showed us was amazing. After a good nights rest they made us a deliscious breakfast with my new favorite food, arepas. It's kind of a corn flour pita pocket that you fill with eggs, cheese, and bacon. It kicks the crap out of an egg mcmuffin any day!
After breakfast we separated our group and went to some mens and womens bible studies. In my mind, I'm thinking this would be a 1-2 hour meeting. Obviously I havent adjusted to the south American time frame yet. Things are casual and time is fluid. This was a 5 hour gathering. It involved bbq'd meat, watching Band of Brothers, and some good discussion on the necessity of accountability with our brothers in Christ. It was midway through the night that the humility began to set in. As I sat there I began to think about what was going on. Here I was, in South America. Very, very, very far from home. I was in a very poor neighborhood sitting in the dirt under a tarp to shield us from the rain, listening to a man speak in Spanish. A language of which I can only understand a few words of. It was in this moment that I realized how small I was. We worship a God who is being exhalted all over the world in thousands of languages and I rarely ever consider this. My world can become very small sometimes and the day to day concerns of everyday life consume me on a regular basis. What a gift this trip is. A chance to step away from my own life and see how big our God truly is.
Tonight we are staying with a different family who will be our hosts for the duration of our trip. Boris and Rocio and their two daughters, Genesis and Anapaola have been extremely gracious so far. They have done so much to try to make us feel at home. It's so humbling to be shown such great kindness by complete strangers. We have already had many laughs together as we try to communicate. It is such a joy to stay with them. We are extremely blessed and are greatly looking forward to the rest of our week.
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Lawnmower Graveyard
Apparently my house is where all lawnmowers come to die. Admittedly, some are my own doing, but other times I have had nothing to do with it. My very first lawnmower was a gift from my father. It was one of his auction finds and something he generously brought to me when we bought our first house. It managed to muster up the strength to get me through the first mowing season but died shortly after the spring mowing season began the following year. Then I bought another used beauty to get me by. I just didn't want to spend the money to get a new one. Unfortunately, this one was a bagless mower so raking the yard was also one of my required yardly duties. I managed and this mower got me through most of the year. That's when mower #2 decided to be inexplicably weird. (**disclaimer- the following will be an explanation of what was wrong with my mower and will require some technical knowledge of the workings of a lawn mower. Unfortunately, I have no said knowledge of mower workings so prepare yourself for a lot of descriptors such as "doo-hickey" and "thingy".) There is that little thing on the arm of the mower that has the switch to change it from turtle to rabbit mode. Well that thing completely broke so I now had no control over the choke. (I think that's what it is). So when I held that bar down or let it up on the top of the mower, it did nothing to turn the mower on or off. What was I to do? So I took the mower over to the "Nicolaides house of mower repair and jerry rigging". We ended up zip tying the choke so that it was always open and manually plugging and unplugging the spark plug to start and stop the mower. So ghetto, but it worked and I still didn't have to buy a new one. With its new and less than user friendly improvements, mower #2 lasted me the rest of the mowing season. Thus began the spring of this year. "Frankenmower" was alive and still kicking. By this point in time I have began to really want to just buy a new mower. However, just like my television, I refuse to buy a new one as long as I have a working one. I really, really, really want a mower that has a bagger on it. I'm so sick of raking up grass after mowing. But alas... Mower #2 was still functioning so my dreams of a new mower would have to be put on hold. Until today. I am leaving the country on Friday morning and will be gone for 11 days so I needed to get the yard mowed before we left. I decided to get up early this morning and do it since I am short on time and its going to be a billion degrees out by this afternoon. I usually check the oil every time I mow, but in my rush I forgot to do that this morning. And this was the beginning of the end. Shortly after starting to mow the yard it started to cut out on me. The grass was really thick and a little dewy so I thought it was just having trouble cutting through it all. Not the case. It was dying due the lack of oil. I thought maybe I could add some more oil to it and let it cool down and a miracle would occur and it would start up again. This was sadly not the case and mower #2 was sent off to that great yard in the sky. Good luck ol friend!
So.... now my yard is 1/3 mowed. Thankfully, I have some awesome friends in my life and one has already volunteered to take care of it for me. That's one more thing off of my to do list. Now I just have to worry about buying a new one when we get back from Venezuela. Yay for a new mower! One that bags the grass for you! If I'm lucky, I will also find one that will pick up the dog poop in the yard too. And pick up all the apples from my apple tree. And weed eat. And pull weeds from the flower beds. And wash my car. Ok, maybe not. But a guy can dream.
So.... now my yard is 1/3 mowed. Thankfully, I have some awesome friends in my life and one has already volunteered to take care of it for me. That's one more thing off of my to do list. Now I just have to worry about buying a new one when we get back from Venezuela. Yay for a new mower! One that bags the grass for you! If I'm lucky, I will also find one that will pick up the dog poop in the yard too. And pick up all the apples from my apple tree. And weed eat. And pull weeds from the flower beds. And wash my car. Ok, maybe not. But a guy can dream.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Attack of the To-Do List
All last week I was blatantly ignoring the fact that this week had "Impending Doom" written all over it. I knew it was coming but I chose to completely ignore it and live in sweet ignorant bliss as long as I could. Then Sunday morning hit and this week actually began. It's one of those weeks that I have so much going on that I am afraid to do my "to-do" list because I'm afraid of what will actually be on it.
Reluctantly, while Breanne and I were stuck in the car for almost 2 hours we decided to buckle down and actually make the list. What is making this week so crazy you may ask? Breanne and I are leaving on Friday morning at 5:30 AM to go to Venezuela with our church on a Mission trip! We are super excited about going, but there are so many things to get done before we go that we are having trouble grasping the fact that we are about to leave the country for 11 days. It hardly seems real.
So... the to do list is as follows...
Get Car seat for Gramma
Laundry
Buy dog food
Buy food for Julia for while we are gone
Pack (The most daunting of all tasks)
Buy mini snickers and strawberry frosted poptarts
Buy a small travel fan
Make a first aid kit
Breanne's work billing
Close pampered chef shows before we leave
Create Venezuela Team Facebook page- DONE!!
Pick up items from Missionaries parents in Chatham
Pictures for Grandparents Calendar for August
Print family picture w/ frame for host family in Venezuela
Clean Guest room
Mow yard
etc... etc... etc...
The list goes on and on! Add on the fact that Breanne had Pampered Chef parties yesterday and today and two birthday parties tomorrow and Thursday and we are going crazy!! (These are both great things, they just add to the craziness) I forsee a lot of late bed times for us this week. The last two nights we were up until 1:30!
Sunday night we were up so late because we were shampooing our carpets because one of our dogs exploded in the dining room. It was disgusting and I will spare you the details.
Anyway.... I do believe that we can slay this giant. I just can't promise that there won't be any casualties along the way.
In other news... If you want to receive updates about how our trip is going, look up our facebook group SSCC Venezuela Missions Team. I believe we will have internet access and hopefully will be able to update regularly throughout our trip! And we can strike at least one thing off of our list!
Reluctantly, while Breanne and I were stuck in the car for almost 2 hours we decided to buckle down and actually make the list. What is making this week so crazy you may ask? Breanne and I are leaving on Friday morning at 5:30 AM to go to Venezuela with our church on a Mission trip! We are super excited about going, but there are so many things to get done before we go that we are having trouble grasping the fact that we are about to leave the country for 11 days. It hardly seems real.
So... the to do list is as follows...
Get Car seat for Gramma
Laundry
Buy dog food
Buy food for Julia for while we are gone
Pack (The most daunting of all tasks)
Buy mini snickers and strawberry frosted poptarts
Buy a small travel fan
Make a first aid kit
Breanne's work billing
Close pampered chef shows before we leave
Create Venezuela Team Facebook page- DONE!!
Pick up items from Missionaries parents in Chatham
Pictures for Grandparents Calendar for August
Print family picture w/ frame for host family in Venezuela
Clean Guest room
Mow yard
etc... etc... etc...
The list goes on and on! Add on the fact that Breanne had Pampered Chef parties yesterday and today and two birthday parties tomorrow and Thursday and we are going crazy!! (These are both great things, they just add to the craziness) I forsee a lot of late bed times for us this week. The last two nights we were up until 1:30!
Sunday night we were up so late because we were shampooing our carpets because one of our dogs exploded in the dining room. It was disgusting and I will spare you the details.
Anyway.... I do believe that we can slay this giant. I just can't promise that there won't be any casualties along the way.
In other news... If you want to receive updates about how our trip is going, look up our facebook group SSCC Venezuela Missions Team. I believe we will have internet access and hopefully will be able to update regularly throughout our trip! And we can strike at least one thing off of our list!
Friday, July 15, 2011
A Bit of Everything
I've not blogged for a few days so let me just give you a quick rundown on some of the highlights over the past few days.
Last night Breanne hosted a Pampered Chef party at our house. I knew this was happening, but what I was unaware of was the number of people that were coming. When I was told that there would be 25 women coming over, I was shocked. That's a WHOLE LOT of estrogen in my house. There was also margaritas involved so it was sure to be a crazy evening. Between doing dishes and attending to Julia, my duties were to also grill hamburgers for everyone. Then I was on clean up duty after the party was over. I have officially submitted my nomination for "Husband of the Year" and am anxiously awaiting results any time now.
In other news, today was day 90 of my current P90X challenge. I was also going to attempt to read the entire Bible in that time frame as well, but failed miserably in that aspect after 2 weeks. That darn Old Testament is hard sometimes! Anyway, I did however stick with the workout routine and it went great. I fell like I am getting leaner, which of course was the goal. Next I am going to try "Insanity". A similar program but it is for 60 days. In updates to former blogs, I did get my money back from eBay so all is right with the world.
Finally, I leave you with two completely irrelevant yet very disturbing news stories that I heard today.
1. In St. Louis today a guy tried to commit suicide by first lighting himself on fire and then jumping off a bridge. Let me first say that it is so tragic that a guy could get to this point in his life that he would feel it necessary to do this. I will also say... how ticked off would you be when you finally woke up in the hospital? What a bummer for him, or maybe it's an awakening? Who knows.
2. The other news story comes from California. A guy tells his wife that he wants a divorce. Later when she is making him dinner she slips some type of drug into his meal. As he is passed out, she ties him to the bed and shall I say... "Lorena Bobbit-izes" him. To make it worse, she puts it in the garbage disposal! I can't quite wrap my mind around the kind of crazy that was going on in this women's head and I'm not sure that I want to. However, I think we can all learn a valuable less here. When asking your wife for a divorce DO NOT follow it up with, "What are you making for dinner?".
Last night Breanne hosted a Pampered Chef party at our house. I knew this was happening, but what I was unaware of was the number of people that were coming. When I was told that there would be 25 women coming over, I was shocked. That's a WHOLE LOT of estrogen in my house. There was also margaritas involved so it was sure to be a crazy evening. Between doing dishes and attending to Julia, my duties were to also grill hamburgers for everyone. Then I was on clean up duty after the party was over. I have officially submitted my nomination for "Husband of the Year" and am anxiously awaiting results any time now.
In other news, today was day 90 of my current P90X challenge. I was also going to attempt to read the entire Bible in that time frame as well, but failed miserably in that aspect after 2 weeks. That darn Old Testament is hard sometimes! Anyway, I did however stick with the workout routine and it went great. I fell like I am getting leaner, which of course was the goal. Next I am going to try "Insanity". A similar program but it is for 60 days. In updates to former blogs, I did get my money back from eBay so all is right with the world.
Finally, I leave you with two completely irrelevant yet very disturbing news stories that I heard today.
1. In St. Louis today a guy tried to commit suicide by first lighting himself on fire and then jumping off a bridge. Let me first say that it is so tragic that a guy could get to this point in his life that he would feel it necessary to do this. I will also say... how ticked off would you be when you finally woke up in the hospital? What a bummer for him, or maybe it's an awakening? Who knows.
2. The other news story comes from California. A guy tells his wife that he wants a divorce. Later when she is making him dinner she slips some type of drug into his meal. As he is passed out, she ties him to the bed and shall I say... "Lorena Bobbit-izes" him. To make it worse, she puts it in the garbage disposal! I can't quite wrap my mind around the kind of crazy that was going on in this women's head and I'm not sure that I want to. However, I think we can all learn a valuable less here. When asking your wife for a divorce DO NOT follow it up with, "What are you making for dinner?".
Saturday, July 9, 2011
Too Good to Be True
As many of you know, I have been doing P90X for a while now. It has been really good for me and have actually kind of enjoyed it. Weird right? Well next week I start my final week of this current 90 day sequence that I am in. So I have been wondering what to do next. I won't say that I am getting bored with P90X but would definitely like a change of pace. So, because I am a glutten for punishment, I am going to try another beachbody.com product called Insanity. The website describes it as "The hardest workout program ever put on DVD". There are no weights involved. Just pure cardio craziness that will more than likely make me want to die.
So I go on beachbody.com and get ready to purchase it. Just as I am about to click "purchase", I decide to venture out to Ebay to see if I just can't find it for cheaper. The very first result to show up was selling the exact thing that beachbody.com was selling except it was 1/3 of the price. And that was the "buy it now" price, not the auction price. Awesome! I quickly bought it thinking that I was getting a rocking awesome deal.
The problem is that like most things that seem to be too good to be true, it totally was. I quickly got an email from Ebay saying that my purchase has been cancelled and the listing has been removed because it did not meet some sort of ebay guidelines. They were very vague and gave no specifics. I can only assume that it was because the listing was fraudulent. The problem is that I paid with my paypal account so the seller already has my money and I have no product! I opened a case with the Ebay people but I am really not sure what is going to happen. They are trying to contact the seller and I have to wait 7 days to find out what is going to happen next. I'm pretty sure the seller is not going to respond as they are surely a giant turd who likes to scam people. jerk.
Anyway... So I went and bought the product from beach body like I should have done in the first place. sigh.... So lets put it up to a vote. Who out there thinks I will actually get my $45 back?
So I go on beachbody.com and get ready to purchase it. Just as I am about to click "purchase", I decide to venture out to Ebay to see if I just can't find it for cheaper. The very first result to show up was selling the exact thing that beachbody.com was selling except it was 1/3 of the price. And that was the "buy it now" price, not the auction price. Awesome! I quickly bought it thinking that I was getting a rocking awesome deal.
The problem is that like most things that seem to be too good to be true, it totally was. I quickly got an email from Ebay saying that my purchase has been cancelled and the listing has been removed because it did not meet some sort of ebay guidelines. They were very vague and gave no specifics. I can only assume that it was because the listing was fraudulent. The problem is that I paid with my paypal account so the seller already has my money and I have no product! I opened a case with the Ebay people but I am really not sure what is going to happen. They are trying to contact the seller and I have to wait 7 days to find out what is going to happen next. I'm pretty sure the seller is not going to respond as they are surely a giant turd who likes to scam people. jerk.
Anyway... So I went and bought the product from beach body like I should have done in the first place. sigh.... So lets put it up to a vote. Who out there thinks I will actually get my $45 back?
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Adventures of a Single Dad
So I'm not really a single dad, but I will get to experience what it will be like over the next few days. Tomorrow morning Breanne is leaving at the butt crack of dawn to go to Chicago for a Pampered Chef conference. She will not return until late Saturday afternoon. That is a whole lot of just daddy and baby time.
I am quite confident in my fatherly capabilities. When it comes to playing with the baby, bath time, putting her to bed, and general prevention of calamities and other physical maladies, I am pretty good. Meal time on the other hand is a different monster entirely. I haven't quite mastered the fine art of being able to cook something that is child appropriate while also making something that I would like to eat as well. All whilst keeping said child entertained and out of everything. The other side of the coin is that she could also be clingy and demand all of my attention, thus preventing me from preparing any sort of culinary genius.
All of this ends with me simply throwing some chicken nuggets in the microwave or scavenging for some sort of leftover that she hasn't already rejected prior in the week. It all leaves me very stressed out!
I got a little taste of this craziness last night. After picking Julia up from the baby sitter I went straight home to prepare dinner. Breanne was out doing a pampered chef party so baby and I were on our own. I decided to quickly boil some water and make her ravioli with a side of carrots. While the water was coming to a boil, I looked outside and noticed that one of our dogs (Safra), had something in our mouth that looked like a small animal. Panic stricken I grab the baby and rushed outside. It turns out that Safra had uncovered a nest of baby bunnies. Thankfully, the one she had gingerly removed from the nest was not harmed. It was still wriggling around on the ground. My mind went completely blank as to what to do next. I have to keep the dogs away from their new found toys. Not let Julia wander around too much as there are "puppy land mines" all over the back yard. Put the bunny back in it's hole without getting my scent all over it so it doesn't die and its mom doesn't totally reject it. And oh wait.... I have a pot of water boiling on the stove. It was madness. After fully assessing the situation, I used a towel to put bunny back in its hole, scurried the dogs back in the house, checked baby's shoes for land mines, and finished dinner all without any needless death or house fires.
Whew!! Moral of the story is that parenting is a two person job and these next few days are certainly going to be interesting. Wish me luck!
I am quite confident in my fatherly capabilities. When it comes to playing with the baby, bath time, putting her to bed, and general prevention of calamities and other physical maladies, I am pretty good. Meal time on the other hand is a different monster entirely. I haven't quite mastered the fine art of being able to cook something that is child appropriate while also making something that I would like to eat as well. All whilst keeping said child entertained and out of everything. The other side of the coin is that she could also be clingy and demand all of my attention, thus preventing me from preparing any sort of culinary genius.
All of this ends with me simply throwing some chicken nuggets in the microwave or scavenging for some sort of leftover that she hasn't already rejected prior in the week. It all leaves me very stressed out!
I got a little taste of this craziness last night. After picking Julia up from the baby sitter I went straight home to prepare dinner. Breanne was out doing a pampered chef party so baby and I were on our own. I decided to quickly boil some water and make her ravioli with a side of carrots. While the water was coming to a boil, I looked outside and noticed that one of our dogs (Safra), had something in our mouth that looked like a small animal. Panic stricken I grab the baby and rushed outside. It turns out that Safra had uncovered a nest of baby bunnies. Thankfully, the one she had gingerly removed from the nest was not harmed. It was still wriggling around on the ground. My mind went completely blank as to what to do next. I have to keep the dogs away from their new found toys. Not let Julia wander around too much as there are "puppy land mines" all over the back yard. Put the bunny back in it's hole without getting my scent all over it so it doesn't die and its mom doesn't totally reject it. And oh wait.... I have a pot of water boiling on the stove. It was madness. After fully assessing the situation, I used a towel to put bunny back in its hole, scurried the dogs back in the house, checked baby's shoes for land mines, and finished dinner all without any needless death or house fires.
Whew!! Moral of the story is that parenting is a two person job and these next few days are certainly going to be interesting. Wish me luck!
Friday, July 1, 2011
Breaking up is easy to do
From the moment that I got my last phone with Sprint, I have been wanting a new one. The clumsy design and incessant butt dialing were enough to drive anyone crazy. I suppose that this is what I get for upgrading my phone with the "free" model. Add on the fact that my phone lacked anything resembling coolness and I wanted out. However, I was unfortunately involved in a very complicated and committed relationship with Sprint. That devil in a yellow dress had me snagged in her claws and wasn't going to let go for two whole years.
Meanwhile, everyone else had a phone way cooler than mine and I was getting envious. I know envy is one of the 7 deadly sins, but I just couldn't help myself. Anyway, you know how when you start to think about having a baby and then all of a sudden you start seeing babies everywhere? Well, my "baby" was an iphone. And EVERYONE I knew had one! Even old people who couldn't fully appreciate the awesomeness that is the iphone had one. It was maddening. So I started doing some research on what it would take to get out of the final 8 months of my Sprint contract. I would have to pay a little, but it wasn't going to kill me. However, I felt that it was just a dream. I would never actually break up with my cellular mistress...... Until yesterday. Breanne's phone is a flip phone and it was starting to break. Yesterday, was apparantly the final straw because the top portion completely detached from the bottom and was literally hanging on by a thread. What are we to do? Do we go to Sprint and get her a new phone, thus condemming her to 2 more years with a mediocre phone? Of course not! Do we just get her an iphone and leave me out in the cold? (totally not an option. I feel ridiculous for even bringing it up)
So after dinner the decision was made. We were breaking up with Sprint and getting an iphone4 for both of us! It was glorious! We walked into Verizon and were part of something beautiful called a "Lay Down" sale. The Lay Down sale is an elusive beast that shows its face every now and then in retail enviornments. When I worked straight commision at the furniture sale, I never once had the joy of captureing this animal. A Lay Down sale is when someone determinidly walks up to a sales person, tells them what they want to purchase, and then proceeds to the register. It's a beautiful thing. Yesterday, I myself got to be a lay down sale. We walked into the store and I said, "I want two 16gb iphone4's, the 700 minute plan, and unlimited texting and data". Befuddled, he said.... "OK, lets go". I'm sure it was the quickest sale of his life. And thus begins my new relationship with Verizon and my iphone. It's a love that I am sure will last for years to come. The best part is that Verizon will even break up with Sprint for me! No need for the awkward "It's not you, it's me" speech. Which actually means, "It's totally you and I want out".... but I digress.
Now I will go and check email and facebook wherever I want, just because I can!
Meanwhile, everyone else had a phone way cooler than mine and I was getting envious. I know envy is one of the 7 deadly sins, but I just couldn't help myself. Anyway, you know how when you start to think about having a baby and then all of a sudden you start seeing babies everywhere? Well, my "baby" was an iphone. And EVERYONE I knew had one! Even old people who couldn't fully appreciate the awesomeness that is the iphone had one. It was maddening. So I started doing some research on what it would take to get out of the final 8 months of my Sprint contract. I would have to pay a little, but it wasn't going to kill me. However, I felt that it was just a dream. I would never actually break up with my cellular mistress...... Until yesterday. Breanne's phone is a flip phone and it was starting to break. Yesterday, was apparantly the final straw because the top portion completely detached from the bottom and was literally hanging on by a thread. What are we to do? Do we go to Sprint and get her a new phone, thus condemming her to 2 more years with a mediocre phone? Of course not! Do we just get her an iphone and leave me out in the cold? (totally not an option. I feel ridiculous for even bringing it up)
So after dinner the decision was made. We were breaking up with Sprint and getting an iphone4 for both of us! It was glorious! We walked into Verizon and were part of something beautiful called a "Lay Down" sale. The Lay Down sale is an elusive beast that shows its face every now and then in retail enviornments. When I worked straight commision at the furniture sale, I never once had the joy of captureing this animal. A Lay Down sale is when someone determinidly walks up to a sales person, tells them what they want to purchase, and then proceeds to the register. It's a beautiful thing. Yesterday, I myself got to be a lay down sale. We walked into the store and I said, "I want two 16gb iphone4's, the 700 minute plan, and unlimited texting and data". Befuddled, he said.... "OK, lets go". I'm sure it was the quickest sale of his life. And thus begins my new relationship with Verizon and my iphone. It's a love that I am sure will last for years to come. The best part is that Verizon will even break up with Sprint for me! No need for the awkward "It's not you, it's me" speech. Which actually means, "It's totally you and I want out".... but I digress.
Now I will go and check email and facebook wherever I want, just because I can!
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