Cause I'm Not Busy Enough

I am extremely excited about some new developments that have come about in my life as of late.  I am excited to announce that I am joining the staff of South Side Christian Church in a part-time capacity as the "Director of Adult Ministries" at the Southwest Campus.  That's a mouthful isn't it?  The main question that I get asked is if I am keeping my job State Farm.  This is a resounding yes.  As this new job is only part time, I will definitely be keeping my State Farm gig for quite some time.  Plus, the office would be very sad without me and I just couldn't stand to make them sad. 

The next question I get is "what are you doing".  Well I am glad you asked.  Mainly I will be overseeing our connection group ministries.  Connection groups are bible studies that meet in peoples homes throughout the week.  If you have never been in a connection group, I highly recommend it.  I have been the leader of one for about 5 years now and it is almost always the highlight of my week.  My group has stuck with me through all that life has thrown at me.   This group has brought meals to us when Julia was born.  They supported us in our mission trip to Venezuela.  They pray for me and my family when things are awesome and when things are super crappy too.  Some of the closest people in my life are in my connection group.  You are truly missing out if you don't have something like this in your life.

So I will be in charge of all of our groups at the Southwest Campus while also helping new people find a group to be a part of.  For all of you Southside people who may be reading this, come find me if you want to talk about finding a group for you!

With the addition of this exciting opportunity comes a whole new level of craziness for the Clair house!  We definitely need to have a whole new level of organization to make sure everything gets done.  I foresee regular calendar sycronization summits in our future.  We are so excited to meet the challenge head on though.

Actually using my college degree in my job?  What a novel concept! 

Warrior Dash: After

So the Warrior Dash is over and I managed to survive.  The obstacles themselves were not so bad, however I totally overestimated my running ability.  For some ridiculous reason I did not account for the fact that I wouldn't be running on flat paved roads.  I'm not sure why this thought didn't cross my mind.  It would be a crazy thing to expect.  Well, I guess I didn't really expect that, but I never really considered it either.  The running path was a rocky, bumpy trial and very steep!  I would say that over a third of the race was up hill.  I would love to say that I ran the entire race, but there was definitely some walking involved.  Much to Thomas' chagrin, but he was good sport and prodded me along.  He didn't even leave me behind which I thought was very nice of him.  Maybe next time I do it I can keep up. 

Here is a review from my previous post about the obstacles and how I thought I would handle the obstacles along with how I actually handled them.

Obstacle 1- Road Rage- "Stampede through a scrap yard of rusted wreckage".  Basically you climb over a bunch of cars.  Should be pretty fun. This was super hard because it wasn't just the cars to jump over.  They bookended the cars with several sets of tires to run through as well.  Tires, car, tires, car, tires.  It was exhausting.
Obstacle 2- Barricade Breakdown- "Hurdle over the barricades and crawl under barbed wire".  I'm a bleeder so this could complicate things.  Also difficult, but only because you just ran a mile to get to the obstacles.
Obstacle 3- Rubber Ricochet- "Ram your way through the rubber tire jungle".  They just hung up a bunch of tires close together.  Doesn't sound too difficult to get through.  As I thought, it was silly and not a difficult one.
Obstacle 4- Cliffhanger- "Repel down the steep ravine".  This sounds fun.  Really looking forward to this.  Totally sad that this obstacle was completely absent.  Dang it!  That was going to be fun!
Obstacle 5- Chaotic Crossover- "Crawl across the tangled nets".  Given my mad coordination skills, or lack there of, this could pose a threat.  This one was pretty precarious.  I managed it ok, but it was pretty difficult
Obstacle 6- Dead weight Drifter- "Trudge through the waist deep water and over the logs"- I'm sure running the rest of the race in wet shoes and underwear is going to be awesome.  This was definitely more like nipple deep water and not waist deep.  I'm a tall guy too so anyone who was short really had a hard time with this.  The logs also rolled so it was easy to lose your balance. 
Obstacle 7- Cargo Climb- "Maneuver over the cargo nets".  Again... coordination could be a problem.  I did well on this one.  It was a really high climb though.  I could see how it could be pretty dangerous.
Obstacle 8- Deadman's Drop- "Climb to the top and over the unhandy hurdle".  I have no idea what this means.  Unhandy hurdle?  I don't get it.  I still don't know what an "Unhandy Hurdle" is.  It was basically a wall climb and you jumped off the other side.  Not too bad.
Obstacle 9- Giant Cliffhanger- "Make the trip to the top of the massive slope".  You climb up a hill with the assistance of a rope.  Doesn't sound too dangerous to me, but could be hard if I'm super tired at this point.  Although calling it a "slope" doesn't sound too menacing.  It was definitely just a "slope" and not so bad.
Obstacle 10- Muddy Mayhem- "Scramble beneath barbed wire as you near the finish".  Again with the barbed wire?  I can't say that I am very excited to crawl through the mud either.  I had to sign a liability waiver saying that I wouldn't dive head first into the mud.  Is this really a problem?  I think I might be able to control myself.  I did manage to control myself and not dive head first into the mud.  As far as the barbed wire goes, it was a lot more wire than it was barbs.  It was also a lot higher than necessary.  Mainly it was just there for mental purposes.
Obstacle 11- Warrior Roast- "Leap over the warrior fires".  You just have to jump over a few rows of flames as you cross the finish line.  That's no problem.  More mental than anything.  Unless I just fall over from exhaustion onto the burning coals.  That would be a problem.  I was so tired by this point that I didn't even care that there was fire there.  I just wanted to finish!

I had just a few goals for the run.  Mainly, I just wanted to finish.  That, I was able to do.  My other goal was to beat the guy in the chicken suit.  Which I totally did!  1/2 way through the race someone asked him how he was doing and he said "this is the worst idea I have ever had".  I would have been very sad if I was beat by a giant chicken.  I also beat the guy dressed as a beer and guy in the full suit and tie.  Go me.

Here are my results.  I finished number 2941 out of 7587.  I ran it in 49.19 minutes with a pace of 13.31 per mile.  So while no one is going to pick me up for the Olympics, it does sound cool to say that I ran it faster than 4646 other people.  Again I say, "go me".

When the race was finished I threw my shoes away and went to the line to get washed off.  They had this big water truck that you could walk by and have someone hose you off.  I totally got neglected in the line because the old water pervert with the hose was concentrating all of his attention on the group of 20 year olds behind me who were pretending they were in a music video and pressing their boobs together while screaming about how cold it was.  So lame.  So I got moderately cleaned off and finished enjoying the festivities.

Overall, it was an awesome experience and I really enjoyed the time with my brother.  I can't wait to get a group of guys together and do it again next year.  Although, I may aim to find a closer even to run as appose to driving all the way to Oklahoma. 

Warrior Dash: Before

Tonight after work I am leaving town to trek down to Tulsa to run a "Warrior Dash" tomorrow.  What is a "Warrior Dash" you may ask?  According to their website www.warriordash.com, it is a "mud crawling, fire leaping, run from Hell.  This fierce running series is held on the most challenging and rugged terrain across the globe.  Warriors conquer extreme obstacles, push their limits, and celebrate with kick-ass music, beer, and warrior helmets".  Sounds like a good time to me. 

My brother Thomas and I have decided that this would be a fun thing for us to do and since I am easily talked into things, we decided to give this a try.  Our official start time is 3pm, so if you don't hear from me by early evening tomorrow, assume the worst and send help.

Here is a break down of the obstacles and their descriptions that I will be facing and my general opinion of each of them.

First off, the course is 3.23 miles.  I'm not much of a runner so we will just have to see how that goes.

Obstacle 1- Road Rage- "Stampede through a scrap yard of rusted wreckage".  Basically you climb over a bunch of cars.  Should be pretty fun.
Obstacle 2- Barricade Breakdown- "Hurdle over the barricades and crawl under barbed wire".  I'm a bleeder so this could complicate things.
Obstacle 3- Rubber Ricochet- "Ram your way through the rubber tire jungle".  They just hung up a bunch of tires close together.  Doesn't sound too difficult to get through.
Obstacle 4- Cliffhanger- "Repel down the steep ravine".  This sounds fun.  Really looking forward to this.
Obstacle 5- Chaotic Crossover- "Crawl across the tangled nets".  Given my mad coordination skills, or lack there of, this could pose a threat.
Obstacle 6- Dead weight Drifter- "Trudge through the waist deep water and over the logs"- I'm sure running the rest of the race in wet shoes and underwear is going to be awesome.
Obstacle 7- Cargo Climb- "Maneuver over the cargo nets".  Again... coordination could be a problem.
Obstacle 8- Deadman's Drop- "Climb to the top and over the unhandy hurdle".  I have no idea what this means.  Unhandy hurdle?  I don't get it.
Obstacle 9- Giant Cliffhanger- "Make the trip to the top of the massive slope".  You climb up a hill with the assistance of a rope.  Doesn't sound too dangerous to me, but could be hard if I'm super tired at this point.  Although calling it a "slope" doesn't sound too menacing. 
Obstacle 10- Muddy Mayhem- "Scramble beneath barbed wire as you near the finish".  Again with the barbed wire?  I can't say that I am very excited to crawl through the mud either.  I had to sign a liability waiver saying that I wouldn't dive head first into the mud.  Is this really a problem?  I think I might be able to control myself.
Obstacle 11- Warrior Roast- "Leap over the warrior fires".  You just have to jump over a few rows of flames as you cross the finish line.  That's no problem.  More mental than anything.  Unless I just fall over from exhaustion onto the burning coals.  That would be a problem.

So that is that.  After the race, I get a t-shirt, warrior helmet, and a beer token.  Cause that's what I want after running 3 miles.  Beer.  Ah well, it should be fun. 

Wish me luck and I will make sure to fill you in on how it goes.

I'm Not Turning 30... I'm Turning Awesome!

This is my new mantra.  For so long I have been dreading the fact that I am turning the big "3-0".  For some unknown reason this number attached to the years of life that I have lived some how signified the fact that I was old.  My 20's were great and all, but it certainly doesn't mean that the best years of my life are behind me.  Who decided that there was this mythical downward slope that occurred once your age was no longer preceded by a 2? 

I feel like I have accomplished a lot in my 20s.  I have had a lot of experiences, good and bad, that have served to prepare me for the rest of my life.  I left my parents household and became independent.  I graduated college.  I moved 1/2 way across the country without a job to start a church.  I failed at starting a church.  I fell in love with theater and creative arts.  I learned to forgive and move on.  I fell in love.  I made the biggest commitment of my life.  I sold furniture.  I sold insurance.  I was introduced to the most beautiful little girl in the whole entire world.  I was scared of death.  I embraced life.  I learned to fight against the things that I could could control and live with the things I couldn't and I have the metaphorical and actual scars to prove it.

The fact is, my 20's were amazing.  To see how much I have changed and become a better person only makes me more excited to see what will come in the next 10 years of life.  I have been extremely humbled by my birthday today.  I am so loved.  Evidenced by the amount of work my incredible wife has put into making my birthday special.  Also by the fact that I have received 33 phone calls and over 90 Facebook messages wishing me a happy birthday.  I am incredibly blessed to be surrounded by so many people who care about me.  What else could a guy possibly want in life?

So many have asked if I am sad to be 30.  And the answer to that is a resounding "no".  I am not sad because I am not getting older.  I'm simply getting more awesome.

A Case of the Sniffles

I am a tiny bit sick today. Just an itty bitty tiny bit. Apparently it's enough for me to skip my workout this morning though. I just have a sore throat and am a little congested so nothing to worry about.  Unfortunately, I admittedly kind of become a baby when I am sick.  I'm not sure why, I just become a little pathetic when I am not feeling 100%.  Breanne puts up with me quite well.  She says that I have allergies but I told her I didn't think so.  I have never really had them before so why start now?  Maybe I have had them in the past and never realized it.   As Breanne pointed out, they are harvesting the corn field next to my house so that could be it.  She is almost always right anyway.  Just don't tell her I said so because it will go to her head.

So while I'm not really sick, I'm totally still going to work, I am sick enough to not get out of bed at 6:00 and go do my INSANITY workout.  It's all capitalized because it is "insane".  I will have to post about my workouts in another post.  It's been quite an experience.  I've decided that one day off won't kill me.  Maybe if my mild sniffles are gone this evening I will go running instead.  My plan was to stay in bed and enjoy the extra hour and a half of sleep.  But alas, that was not meant to be.  By this point my body is used to being awake at this time and I could no longer enjoy the wonders of just laying in bed.  I was just laying there wide awake thinking about things that I needed to get done so I got up and did a little bit of work on the computer.  I also made myself a cup or three of Venezuelan coffee that we brought back from our trip.  It's delicious as always.  I have highly enjoyed my morning of lounging, working on the computer, reading from the book of Romans, and looking back at old notes that I have written on Facebook.  (I couldn't be 100% productive could I?).  I could totally get used to these kinds of quiet mornings.  One day when I am actually an old man, not just pretending to be one, I can get up early everyday, have my morning coffee and read the newspaper.  On the sun porch!  That's right, I just decided that we are getting a sun porch when we are old.  I can sit on it all day and shake my fist at hooligans wondering the streets telling them to "get off my lawn".  Then I will take a nap.  I think that sounds great.  I'm going to be the coolest old guy.

So I have kind of lost all sense of where I was going with this blog post so I suppose I will just stop.  I blame you three cups of coffee.

Sleep is Overated

What an aweful night! Despite my best efforts, I could not get to sleep at a decent hour last night. Everyone was against me.

Let me begin by saying that Breanne and I have been blessed with a wonderful sleeper. My daughter, Julia has been fantastic. At bed time we just go to her room, say a prayer, and sing a little song. Then we lay her down and she goes right to sleep. Not a peep comes out of her. It's the best ever. So now that I am used to this, the nights that she has trouble sleeping seem to be extra traumatic for me. I'm wondering if she isnt having a little bit of allergies because last night she was extra snotty. Not in character or disposition, but litterally snotty. Since she seems to be a big time thumb sucker when she sleeps the snottiness complicates the whole thumb sucking/breathing combo. So she was up about every 30 minutes last night between the hours of 11pm and 2am. What she really needed was to have her nose cleaned out with the ol' devil tool the nose sucker. Apparantly, this is the worst thing in the entire world to Julia. As soon as she saw me with it she started screaming as if I were threatening to do great bodily harm to her. So while I could have put her in a head lock and held her down to get her nose cleaned out, the hysterical crying that would ensue would only generate more snot than before. Thus rendering this entire exercise futile. I opted to just quickly wipe her nose and let her be stuffed up. It seemed far less traumatic. This bought me another 30 mintutes for her to sleep before she would be awake again.

The first time I laid her back down and got myself back to bed, the dogs (Safra and Jameela) started bothering me to go outside. They just went out an hour before, but apparantly they couldn't wait. There is no ignoring them either. They whine and scratch at my side of the bed until I let them out. Let the record show that these were not originally my dogs. They were adopted when I married Breanne. She had the dogs for a few years before we even met, so technically, they are her dogs. The girls seem to have forgotten this fact and only bother me when they need something. Not once in our 3 1/2 years of marriage have these dogs ever woken up Breanne to go outside in the middle of the night. Note my bitterness. Anyway, I let them out and back in a few minutes later and all was well... so I thought.

Baby woke up again... I got her settled back down and back in bed. Again, I thought all was well. Again, it was not.

Shortly after I laid back in bed I could hear that unmistakable disgusting noise that only a dog can make. Jameela was throwing up on our bedroom carpet. "Are you serious?" I say to her. Our dogs have a dirty little habit. Im sure that years of rehab could not cure them of their addiction. My dogs are dirty little poop eaters. It's disgusting. As much as I try, I cannot get them to stop. So you could imagine that this makes the vomit clean up exponentially worse. So I break out my carpet cleaner and spend some time scrubbing the carpet.

Baby cries some more. She gets control of herself and falls back asleep.

Ok... all is set. Carpet is clean-ish. Baby is asleep-ish. Now can I go to bed?

No. I lay down for a few more minutes and I hear Jameela pacing again. This could only mean one thing. I spring out of bed and try to usher her out the back door. We make it to the door and she throws up again on our kitchen floor, down the outside steps, and on the patio. Sigh. So I clean up the kitchen floor (at least it was tile) and then hose off the patio. Who doesn't want to be hosing off their patio at 1:30 AM?

Back to bed for one final time. Please can I get to bed now? Yes. Yes I could. However, that alarm at 5:50 am was awefully viscious this morning. I had every reason to skip my morning workout, but I perservered an went ahead and did it anyway. Now I am depending on my giant $5 Starbucks to get me through the day. Go caffiene!

Marching Band Nightmare

I have blogged about this subject in the past but a story in the paper today has urged me to bring it back up. Go ahead and click this link and you will see what I am talking about.

http://www.sj-r.com/top-stories/x1069116462/After-50-years-clown-band-misses-2011-state-fair

Ok, so as many of you are aware, I have a few irrational fears in my life. One of them is babies who talk like adults. Think of the babies from the "E-Trade" commercials. It just freaks me out a little bit. I can't explain it. It just does. Another fear is clowns. Then there is the worst ever which is the combo of the two. If there is ever a sighting of a talking clown baby, beware because the apocolypse is near!

Anyway, back to the clowns. Apparantly some freak shows out there are sad that there wasn't a marching band of clowns parading around the State Fair spraying unsuspecting fair goers in the face with a squirting flower. (By the way, that picture in the article is horrying. Seriously, who loves clowns? What is wrong with these people?) Moving on... I for one, am not sad about this AT ALL. I actually did not know that there was ever even a marching band of clowns that attended the fair. I assure you, if I did know this, I would have thought twice about going. However, the allure of funnel cakes and other deep fried treats may have still won me over enough to give it a try. I would have been much more cautious though.

I really don't know where my fear of clowns originated from. I think they always have made me a little uneasy, but the infamous "Bob Evans" incident totally has thrown me over the edge. I won't tell the entire story here but the basic gist of the story is that on Sunday afternoons Bob Evans Restuarant has a clown that comes to make balloon animals for the kids. This clown in particular had zero social skills and totally picked up on the fact that I didn't like her. She proceeded to frequently come to our table and even followed me to the register and asked "Did you eat all of your breakfast little boy?". Now over the years this memory has gotten worse and now when I remember her voice it sounds like the Wicked Witch from the Wizard of Oz. You cannot convince me otherwise. It was awful.

So am I sentimental about the loss of this State Fair staple? I mean it has been a 50 year tradition. Heck no!! The last thing I need in my life is a yellow haired freak of nature chasing me around the fairgrounds carrying a tuba!

Great.... add that to my list of irrational fears!

Can You Tell Me How To Get To Sesame Street?

This past weekend we did a little bit of travelling. We drove five hours down to Ash Grove Missouri to attend my grandmother's funeral. She had been declining for a while now, and it is so nice to know that she is in a better place now.

Knowing that our daughter is getting to the age where travelling is not her favorite activity, we tried to make things a little easier on ourselves. We started with purchasing her very first big girl car seat. She now weighs enough to be in one and while it is recommended to be rear facing, she could legally face forward as well. We thought that this might help her be ok with being stuck in her chair, if she could face forward and actually see us. She would also be easier to reach for when we needed to hand her various sources of entertainment like books and crackers. By the way, how did parents ever get by without goldfish crackers? Anyway, this tactic only lasted for about the first 2 1/2 hours of the trip. She couldn't really nap very well in her new chair so along with not wanting to be sitting any longer, she also was getting by on a mere 15 minute nap. The last 1/2 of the trip was comprised of intermittant screaming and a pit stop to allow her to run around a little bit. We finally made it to our hotel, but it was quite distressing for all three of us.

So we had come to a decision. We were going to purchase a DVD player for the car. It had been something that we had discussed doing at some point in time anyway, so we thought it would be a good idea to go ahead and get one. We made our way to Wal-mart and picked one out right away. We also had to pick up a few DVD's to watch as well. This is where we had a big dilemna. I wanted something longer than a 1/2 hour because I didn't want to listen to the same thing over and over and over again. We also needed something that might entertain a 1 1/2 year old, so full length Disney movie probably wouldn't do it either. The final criteria was to find something that would not be too incredibly annoying! Not an easy task when you are looking at kids movies. You hear that Dora?

Then we found it! A DVD compilation of 40 years of Sesame Street! It is a 2 disc set with 4 1/2 hours of segments spanning the entire history of Sesame Street. Plus, it was only $20! I thought that was a pretty good bargain! It was so fun to see segments that I totally remember watching when I was a kid. The best part was that Julia was completely entertained by it! The ride home was so much more enjoyable and she made narry a peep the entire way! It was fantastic!

Along with fidning a new love for Sesame Street, here a few things that I learned/observed while we were watching.

- Did you know that Oscar the Grouch was originally orange? I know right? I totally had no idea. It was really weird to see that.
- I don't think you can actually be considered a celebrity until you have done a guest spot on Sesame Street. Really random people have been on there such as; Beyonce, Michelle Obama, Collin Ferrell, Katy Perry, Jason Mraz, Billy Crystal, LL Cool J etc...
- They have super fun educational songs set to current hits. For example, The Plain White Tee's redid "Hey There Delila" to talk about the letter "T".
- Not exactly new news, but Bert and Ernie are hilarious. They totally crack me up. I could watch entire shows of them.
-They do hilarious parody's of current shows. They spoofed Law and Order SVU and made a "Law and Order Special Letters Unit". The Letter M was missing so they had to go and find it. They even included that strange "Chum Chum" noise that they always play between scenes and made several jokes about that too.

I really wish I could stay at home with Julia in the mornings and Watch Sesame Street with her. She loves it, and thanks to this trip, I love it too! I haven't watched it since I was a kid but I can totally see how it has managed to stay on the air for so long. It stays relevant enough for parents to enjoy while also educating and entertaining our children as well.

So good job Seseme Street. Way to be awesome for 40 years strong! Donations may be made to your local PBS station.

Favorite Third

Today is September 1st! Thus officially beginning my "favorite third" of the year. All things wonderful begin with this time of year. Lets begin with September. As my Sister-in-Law once pointed out, September is my birthday month. This year is my 30th birthday and I am now deciding to embrace it. I will not feel like I am old are saying good bye to the glory years of my 20's. So bring on my birthday. The 30's are the new 20's anyway right? Also, with September comes the first glimmer of Fall. While you still have ridiculous days like today where it is 103 degrees out (don't get me started on this) there are also blissfully pleasant days where the highs are in the mid 70's. It gives me hope for the things to come. Next we have October and Autumny goodness is officially in full swing. The air is crisp and leaves are turning. Pumpkins are abounding! And while I'm not a huge celebrator of Halloween, I do enjoy the overall festivity that is going on. Then comes November. By now leaves are falling and it is full blown sweater and jacket weather. And Thanksgiving! And food! Turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, pumpkin pie... I could go on and on. I love me some thanksgiving food! The best part is getting together with family and friends. Sharing time and meals together with the ones I love is absolutely the best. I know I sound like a sappy hallmark card, but it is totally true. I love my family and I have some of the best friends that a guy could ever ask for. I love that this season caters to getting together and sharing in our sappiness. In addition to this, I am looking forward to continuing a tradition that began last year. In 2010 while my sister-in-law was visiting we sat down and watched every Thanksgiving episode of Friends in order! What a grand tradition and I can't wait to do it again! Finally, the icing on the preverbial cake, December. The glory of Christmas decends upon us all. And while many are "bah humbug-ers" I am the exact opposite. I'm Clark W. Griswold (with only half of the shenanigans). Nothing compares with the wonder and magic of christmas. Decorations, Christmas movies, TV specials, Christmas music.... I could go on and on. I absolutely love it and I can't wait to see what Julia thinks of it this year. I forsee her loving our christmas tree. Mainly because we put an exorbitant amount of lights on ours and like her father, Julia is easily distracted by shiny things. But I think she will also enjoy presents. She is getting so close to the age when kids really get into ripping paper and playing with the boxes instead of the nice toy you just got them. It's going to be great! It's all going to be glorious and I am so happy for my "favorite third" to be here. Especially now that I officially have permission from my wife to vocalize my desire for Fall to get here sooner rather than later. Now if only Starbucks would start selling their Pumpkin Lattes! Does anyone know when that happens?