Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Wedding Connoisseur

This weekend I had the pleasure of witnessing a great friend of mine get married.  I had the even greater pleasure of standing up with him as his Best Man.  I have been in a ton of weddings in my life.  I could easily own my own tuxedo by this point.  I hear bridesmaids always complain that it's worse buying the bridesmaid dresses because you never wear them again, but I still say that renting the tux is worse.  You actually get to keep your ugly dress, therefore making it slightly better.  Anytime I start to argue this point I am flooded with complaints from angry women who want to include all of the accessories such as jewelry, hair, nails, blah blah blah, etc, etc, into the argument as well.  It finally gets to the point where you just want to concede defeat just to not hear about it anymore.  Fine, being a woman is always worse than being a man.  You win!  But anyway, I digress...
 
If my memory serves me correctly, I have the following wedding credits to my name.  I have been the usher for at least 1 wedding.  I have sang in 3.  I have been a groomsman for 3, the best man for 3, and the groom for 1.  I believe that this makes me an expert, does it not?  So here are a few observations that I am able to make about weddings in general.

- Everyone hates pictures.  I don't think I have ever been to a wedding in which people were happy to be getting their picture taken.  It's just such an arduous task to get everyone together, not blinking, and smiling for a single moment.  The pictures at my wedding were particularly annoying.  I don't think we got a single good picture of the entire family.  We had one of everyone present and that was good enough for me.  The photographer wanted another one, but we flat out refused.  "We are done!" I said. 

- I think the best moment of a wedding is when the doors open up and the groom sees the bride for the first time.  Call me old fashioned, but I like it when the Bride and Groom don't see each other before the wedding.  Of course this only adds to the frustration of taking longer to get pictures done after the ceremony, but it is totally worth it. 

- There needs to be entertainment for all of the guests at the reception as they wait for the wedding party to arrive.  It feels like an eternity when you are hungry and waiting for the wedding party!  Why not have something going on.  Hire a band or a comedian to entertain guests.  Better yet, have a play!  I might be on to something here!

- Awesome Best Man skills are required! Ok, not really, but when a caterer knocked over a table in the middle of the dance floor during my best man speech, I totally recovered and kept things moving.  I kept it light and drew everyone's attention back at me.  Mainly because I like attention, but whatever.

- Nothing gets a group of white folk dancing quicker than an open bar and "The YMCA".  I don't know what magical powers the village people possess but for some reason whenever this song plays, the dance floor gets flooded with people who are ready to dance! 

- Sweet dance skills are NOT required!  In fact, it totally helps.  It was a blast attempting to dance the night away, especially because I had nothing to feel self conscious about because no one else could dance either.  There were definitely many points in the night in which my "dance fingers" came out.  You know, the pointer fingers that emerge whenever you start to bust a move.  Many people opt for "dance thumbs" instead.  it's the same principle.

- One lone dancer can enthusiastically keep the party going for the entire night!  Thanks to Alaina, the dancing at the wedding this weekend did not die.  She totally kept the party going!  I think she could totally sell her services at other weddings as the "designated dance party captain".  The title is still a work in progress.

I was doing some thinking this weekend and I think this might be the final wedding that I am a part of for a very long time.  I can't think of any other friends who are still single who may have me as part of their wedding.  If this was to be the last one, I'm glad it was for the Logues.  It was a wonderful wedding and I am so happy for Jason and Heather.  I wish them a lifetime of happiness!      

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